Posted in NaNoWriMo, updates, Writing

The Half Way Point

We’re a bit past half through November and let’s not mention the lack of winter in Texas. The important thing to remember is that NaNoWriMo is half way done . . . and that is terrifying.

While I have reached my daily goal since day one, I find my story to be lacking. While I have the overall story planned, all the bits in between aren’t exactly there.

I’ve always been someone who plans some of the story before writing and someone who makes things up along the way. The problem with that is I underestimated the second book in the series. While Clan of Blood is its own book, it’s also part of a larger story. This is why I feel I should have planned out the story a bit more.

Now, there’s no use in regretting what wasn’t done. That’s not going to get me anywhere. It’s definitely a lesson I’ve learned.

As of now, the middle is slowing me down. I’m not bored, not at all, but I don’t know how to continue the main story. The subplots are there but I don’t want to derail the story and focus only on the subplots. Even though I know that subplots should feed into the main story, and I know how the subplots in Clan of Blood connect to everything else, for some reason, I’m having trouble putting it all in words. It’s like I forgot how to use words or something.

While my idea map has helped put everything into a diagram of sorts, I haven’t quite been able to plan ahead. I’m probably making this into a big deal because the editing part of my brain isn’t quite shut off. However, in the long run, it’ll be good for me to be aware that a lot of the story has to change in the edit. Clan of Ash, the first book, went through tons of edits too but unlike that time, there wasn’t a lot of pressure. Now, I feel like there is.

But it’s not like I can quit. I don’t want all that work and effort to go to waste. Plus, I need to write the second book. I love the story and the characters. I’m just afraid that I won’t do them justice. It’s just one of the many fears I have when it comes to writing in general. The idea seems so cool but the execution isn’t all there.

There’s so much doubt but I know I can get through this. I’ve struggled before and pulled through. For the moment, I’ll focus more on the scenes than the story as a whole. I won’t be abandoning the story. I’ll concentrate on the smaller parts that make up the story and try to connect them. Writing this, the ending is becoming a bit clearer. However, I don’t think that I’ll be able to fully finish the story in just 50k words.

As I type this post, the idea of just skipping everything and focusing on the main points seems better and better. If it comes down to it, I might just take that route. Or, I might not. It depends on how far I can go with what I have planned out.

*takes a deep breath* Don’t worry about being perfect. Just write.

Posted in Writing

Starting Over

In all my lifetime (say 2 decades and some), I have lost two major stories that I remember. Actually it might be more than two -I’m sure it is more than two but I can’t seem to remember what other stories were on that flash drive. When I saw I lost everything, I lost everything. All my character sheets, images that inspired me, any notes I might have made regarding the plot that I can’t remember . . . the edited version that I was so proud of.

Unlike the first time, I didn’t cry. My sister might have disliked me very much on that day but she forgave me. I think. As a matter of fact, a novel currently named Darkest Night (co- authored by my sister and I) has been lost twice. And yes, this is the novel I threw away by mistake underneath my lunch tray when I was in high school. My physics teacher freaked out when I came into class crying . . . ah, memories.

And once again, ladies and gentleman, I have lost other stories (I’m being redundant, aren’t I?). My flash drive mysterious disappeared from my purse. And why was I carrying a flash drive in my purse? Because I tend to need my flash drives when I don’t have them. It’s a complicated relationship. Long story short, whatever is on that flash drive is gone for good.

It’s not like I had any personal information on there. I hope . . .. no, I think it was only for stories. Stories that I don’t remember where on there and that I would have to rewrite again. In the long run, it was like I lost my 270 page novel that I want to publish. I guess there is a silver lining? But now that I think about it, I might have all those documents stored in Dropbox. Of course, they’re unedited but that beats trying everything up again, right?

Plus, I like to hand write all my stories on paper first before I even think about typing it up in a word document. Not only can I write really fast, I can also edit at least twice before the story ever goes into a digital format. On paper I can cross things out and just think about what to write next. To me typing something up in on a computer kind of finalizes the whole process – even though it doesn’t – my brain just thinks that way. That also explains why I had so much trouble editing my papers in college.

However, if there is a lesson to learn about all of this ( a lesson I taught myself), is that starting over isn’t all that bad. At least for me, I can remember vaguely what I wrote and can replicate some of the same sentences from before. It also gave me room to step away from the manuscript. Sure it is possibly the worst type of break but it is a break nonetheless.

I mentioned before that I write my stories out and keep those pages even after I’m done with them (for the most part). I can always go back and retype them and although there was plenty of despair in my chest, I powered through it. All I can do is write. Any anger towards myself won’t really make a difference. I like to see this as another obstacle I need to overcome.

 

Thank you for listening to my rant. Until next time,

Kassandra.