Earlier this week I sat down to write the daily 1,667 words needed to complete Camp NaNoWriMo and I didn’t want to. Just the thought of writing filled me with dread. I couldn’t really pinpoint the feeling.
It was then that I asked myself a question. Why didn’t I want to write? I was doing so well before. After a few moments of thinking to myself, I knew the answer. The story was boring. I was bored because the story felt boring to me. The characters were at a stand still. They were looking for clues but weren’t getting anywhere. I wasn’t getting anywhere.
I knew that I didn’t want to stop writing Crimson Queen. I’d told myself that I wanted to complete most of the story this month. If not most, then all. I didn’t want to change my goal completely.
Coming to terms with this, I looked back at all my plot and character notes. While some of it had changed, the intention and direction was still there. I still so much content left to write.
So, I finished the scene I started the day before. After doing this, I forced myself to move on to the next scene. I needed to move forward. And so I did. Saying this, I wasn’t always capable of skipping a scene and moving on to the next one. It took baby steps like summarising, leaving comments for myself to go back to, and even writing a different version of the scene all together. It was enough to get me to this point.
Once I had a ‘fresh’ start, I wasn’t bored anymore. I was excited. Writing the daily goal for that day didn’t take very long. My fingers ached by the end of it but I was done. Goal complete.
Looking back at it, I’ve come to realize how far I have come since starting out. Being able to skip scene is huge for me. I was the type of writer who had to get every word perfect. The scene had to be perfect. I could not and would not move on until it was. I remembered getting so fustrated and stressed out because the words weren’t coming out like they were suppose to. It got to a point where I stopped writing the story altogether for weeks on end and focused on something else.
I am very grateful that I am not that writer anymore. I have the strength to move forward and focus on the scenes I want to write. Sure, I still have to remind myself that I can always come back to something but that doesn’t always happen. Then I start asking myself, ‘would I regret not finishing this story?’ and the answer is ‘yes’ all the time. It’s the small things that keep me going and I know that I am not alone. I just can’t let my struggles stop me.
The end is near.
45k words down,
5,000 words to go.
Writing while fighting a cold is terrible.
Powering through the last few days.
It’s almost over.
I can do this.
You can too.
We got this!
I have taken the next step to getting published. I have sent out six queries and, even though I have done this before, I was still nervous and excited. A part of me is glad that I finally sent them out and the other part of me wishes I could rewind and fix my query a little more. Honestly, I’m glad that I can’t do that simply because if I could, I don’t think the queries would have been sent out any time soon. It’s a good thing that’s over and done with.
The surprising this is that I got a response almost immediately . . . but it’s not a response I hoped for. One of the agents I queried “turned me down” because they weren’t interested in my manuscript. I do have a few words . . . that was fast. At least I can say is that they read my query and they weren’t looking for my project. After some thought, I’m okay with that. At least they responded and read my query.
I don’t want to give it too much thought if that was a polite email to say that my query wasn’t good or not. I’m taking it as my project wasn’t something the agents were going to represent. Luckily, I still have a couple of more places I’m waiting on. Waiting is a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing is that I won’t get rejected soon and I still have hope. Bad thing is that there’s never going to be a response and I’m rejected either way. Of courses, there could be that lucky break but – I’m not going to finish that thought.
Sure, I never know. My manuscript could get picked up and that would super exciting and awesome. It’s not like I don’t have hope but I’m also being realistic about it and trying not to get my hopes up. Even if I don’t succeed this time around, I’ll keep trying. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Sure, I would be sad and disappointed but I won’t quit. My goal is to get my books published and tell my stories to the world if I can. So, I won’t quit.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep writing. Keeping creating stories and playing around with ideas. Keep reading, that’s for sure, until my career as a writing (or even as a side job) takes off and even then, when it does, I’ll keep doing what I love doing.
It’s has taken some time to get used to the aftermath of Harvey. I’m very fortunate to announce that myself and property weren’t damaged/harmed. Unfortunately, I had a few friends who weren’t as fortunate as myself.
Due to the hurricane, a lot of plans have been pushed back. I took this week to adjust some things and I believe I can get back on track. I have a bit of exciting news. Yesterday, I participated in #PitMad – a pitch party on Twitter hosted by Brenda Drake where writers pitch their 140 character pitch for their unpublished manuscript. So far, there hasn’t been any response yet. However, I’m still hopeful and even if this doesn’t work for me, I still plan to send out some query letters. There’s another #PitMad coming up on Dec. 7th and I just might participate in that.
Speaking of queries, I am planning on sending out query letters this upcoming Monday. I want to give #PitMad a chance over the weekend for an agent to like my tweet. If not, well, life goes on and I’ll have more opportunities. Plus, there’s always writing to be done.
It’s been two weeks since Camp NaNoWriMo has ended.
I was unprepared for the complexity of my story. Even from the beginning, I knew it was going to be complex but I didn’t plan enough for that. Luckily, Camp NaNoWriMo showed me that. Blue Moon is a story that needs to be planned. A beat sheet should, in retrospect, help me write the story better the second time around.
Writing a novel in a month has always taught me something. It has also shown me my limitations and what I need to improve. This time, it was planning and execution. Granted, this was the first draft. The first draft of a book that isn’t even completely written yet. Blue Moon and I have a long way to go before it is ready to shown to the world and I’m okay with that. There’s still a lot for me learn.
On a different note:
I am officially finishing editing and revising my story, Clan of Ash. Now, I’m working on my query letter and searching for agents before sending out queries by September. My summary has to be fixed a bit more and I have to research more agents but I’m close. I’m planning on rereading my novel once more before sending it out. I’m not sure if this is a good idea but I’ll take my chances.
Speaking of reading, I finally got around to reading the books on my kindle. I have a few paperbacks around the house that needed to be read first. Hopefully, I can stop buying books long enough for me to finish reading all the ones I have already. Then again, buying books help authors. The struggle is real.
I’m still working on revising Crimson Queen and Phantom Blade (two stories I have on Wattpad). I have also been working on another story on Wattpad as well. It’s been busy and productive. For now, that’s all I can ask for.